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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Stars within the Eyes' LiveJournal:

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Monday, September 9th, 2002
11:09 pm
torn inside of me
is my soul
the love for someone else
turned to shredds
needing someone by myside.
doubt it will happen
trust will never happen again
hate is the most word i use
love is a sin to me
it brings pleasure
then twice as much pain
should i risk feeling this pain again?
should i risk my trust in someone?
should i fall inlove again
just to have my heart crushed
then finding someone
someone with that special glue to put it back together
kiss me lightly im in love.

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

Wednesday, June 5th, 2002
10:31 pm
I have wished upon a star,
I finally got you,
With your charming words,
Feeling filled looks,
That I once too for granted,
Now, I know the meaning,
The true meaning of compassion,
My compassion for you,
The longing to hold you,
Feel you in my arms,
The soft kisses I wish I could feel,
Was it my last chance,
Did I lose you already?
I'm hoping not,
Because whether you know it or not,
I wish I could just be in your presence.

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

Saturday, April 13th, 2002
3:12 pm
raped..of life..
raped of feeling and thought..
thought of you..
making me sick..
you raped my feelings away from me..
wanting to be cold
so i dont feel the hurt anymore..
im so hurt by the words you say..
more hurt by my own words...
sickened...
by what i thought..
but now realized..
is a lie in all words..
words from my mouth are lies..
and lies only to protect myself.
from the pain others have chased..
not lying..
more painful than my own lies..
let me lie to you..
say i dont want you..
so i wont hurt more..
so you cant hurt me..
i can lie to myself..
say i dont want you...

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

3:12 pm
hide my face
hide my scars
hide what i feel
hide what i dont want to feel
hide the only thing that matters
hide my heart away from people
hide away from people like you...

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

3:12 pm
writing what i feel
use to work
doesnt now..
watching my blood hit the floor
seep into the rug
leave stainds of brown
leave stains of brown that is my feeling
i know..you wont miss my blood dripping the floor..
as i will miss the release..
the release i feel from slitting my skin
the burning sensation i feel
the prick of a needle hitting my viens
the bandaids i put on them
the sweet tender scars..
that are all i have left to remember my old pain
now i put new cuts
new pain
new memories...
new scars...

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

3:12 pm
tears in my eyes..
blood on the floor..
dreams disappeared..
the day you left..
heart is now dust..
the sun doesnt shine like it use to..
the rain doesnt fall like i want it to..
my feelings are fragil..
my looks are dead..
my dreams are gone...
so are you..

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

3:11 pm
should i continue hidind my scars
so i dont get called stupid..
be yelled at for the way that i feel..
or what i do just to feel good..
i always get called stupid..
or say im doing stupid acts..
why dont people understand me..
understand how i feel..
why i do and say the things i do..
why cant i be understood?

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

3:11 pm
blond hair
blue eyes
little body..
perfect chest..
arent i suppose to be happy..
i have a perfect look..
every guy wants a girl like this..
but do they realize..
girls who look like this...
are used..
they are abused to the point of being nothing..
guys wanting more than they can give..
wanting the things that make them want to die..
guys want the body..
they dont want the girl..
and people wonder why i say..
i want to be ugly..

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

3:11 pm
do i confuse you..?
do i make you want to break down and cry?
you did that to me
you always have and always will
the thought of what i went through
the pain i went through...
the hate you showed me
the pain you made me see..
makes me hate you..
makes me wish you werent alive..
maybe one day you will realize..
say sorry for what you did..
but you think what you did was right..
think again...

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

Saturday, March 2nd, 2002
12:43 am
i feel as though im dead inside
as if all my viens were drained dry
and my heart broken into peices then crushed into dust
just to be blown away
by what i thought to be true love
by what i thought would be forever
by what i thought could never be a lie
i lied to myself and myself only
and i tried to make it work
i wanted it to work
but nothing i want happens
im not worthy enough for it to happen
so i hope i can forget it ever happened
i hope i can move on
i probably wont
but i can try with the dust of my heart on the ground
and the drained viens in my arm

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

12:43 am
i just am sitting here
listening to music
take my minds off my problems
hopefully it will work
ive already stopped crying
so far it has works
listening to a band i havent listened to in years
someone told me they were fake
fake in what tense
in a tense of someone else who is also fake
we are all fake
we just wont admitt it to ourselfs
it is such a big task to admitt we are fake
that we arent who we think we really are
i think it is funny
even though im one of those people
one of the people who live in a fantasy world
world where everything will be okay
and nothing can be better
i wish it could be better
in the end
i suppose it all will be better
but right now
let me bath in my own sorrow and dispair.

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

Saturday, January 12th, 2002
2:33 pm
as i continue to stand..
i continue to hear you..
your complaining and whining..
why wont you stop..
you life is oh so horrible..
so you want to think
your boyfriend dumped you..
oh well theres more..
your mom yelled at you..
my mom beat me...
am i crying like a child
do i whine because i want attention..
get over yourself..
your feelings are a lie
you words are nothing but fake words...
you are born to be nothing..
you just want to be something..
ha..you will never be worth anything

~**Put star dust in your eyes**~ : ~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

Saturday, December 15th, 2001
3:13 pm
I wasnt really happy with my old screen name on aim(lyewormgrrrl).

New screen name: cRookedsTarLipS

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

3:03 pm





Which Rocky character are you?


yay! i am a "normal" guy!

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

11:31 am
i am going to use this poem for jeremys christmas card.
my heart is to you
my soul belongs in you
my fingers touch your skin
i want to be with you forever
it is scary i know
but things will past
we will learn new things about each other
we will learn to love each other more than our physical attractions
i know, you are my world
i know i love you
and i know this one and forever, you are my one true love
i loved another
but he didnt treat me right
he treated me like i was a toy to be played with
you treat me like a doll
with care and compassion
with love and tenderness
you love me as i love you
and i cant get over that

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

11:29 am
an old poem i found
i love jeremy more than my life,
more than the stars in his eyes,
i love the way he looks at me,
i love the way he holds me,
i know he trust me.
but hard but he does
, i trust his.
. hard but i do,
we love each other.
i hope it never changes but the day it does my heart will stop,
my world will fall,
my whole existince will become nothing at all..

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

11:25 am
why is this such a burden...
some thing dear and sweet..
isnt even love...
taken away from my arms, body and thought...
makes me regret..
what has happen..
what we did..
how we met..
makes me regret..
ever making he and i...
an us...

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

11:25 am
why is this hurting me...
i should feel no pain..
what he told me once...
all he is causing me now..
pain, more than pain can be handled...
i miss the companionship..
i miss the nights on the phone..
laughing together..
giggles at the thought of tiny insignfigant things..
friendships are ment to be true..
not to be taken away..
until...
you take that one step...
step into a relationship..
it falls apart..
you dont know what way to turn..
you dont know what to do..
but to say goodbye..
why do they have to say goodbye..
for good..
why does it hurt him..
to see me..
am i that much of a horror in his life now..
why cant we be friends...
if only he understood..
the pain..
that is being caused by the one who said..
i should never feel pain...

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

Saturday, November 10th, 2001
9:50 pm
Take a beer
Fill yourself up
Forget your fears
Listen to your friends
Friends of yours
Ha I pity you
Kiss the drink
The salty sweet taste
Lick the ice
Let it freeze inside
Sip the bitterness
Let it go down
Push away the one
The one and only for you.

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

9:47 pm
Sing me a sweet song
Not a normal one
Dont express your love
Tell me what you feel
Dont say you feel love
We all feel it
Express what you feel for me
And Only me
I want the truth
I need the truth to live
Do you want to sing a sweet song for me
Am I the true one you have been waiting for
Do you truely want to be with me
Why do you turn away when I ask
You have lied
You dont have it to happen
I feel the knife deep inside
Deep inside the pain and sorry
Father in the knife cuts
Deeper so the blood is dark
Dark with envy
I want your love
Can I have it
Or do I have to steal it
Why not the truth
You have been hiding from fear
Fear I may harm you with the truth
I will never harm the truth
Truth is what keeps me alive
Lies is what makes me die inside.

~**Run threw the fields of star dust**~

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